Chancellor Freiman discusses the entry into Tyrolia of a horde of Italians...

Chancellor Freiman: "In response to a group of Italians moving towards the German border--the so-called Caravan--we have sent the crack German 1st Army to deal with them. We believe this is actually the Third Italian Army just raised in Venice."

Gasps are heard in the audience.

Reporter#1: "But they are not wearing any uniforms. And there are women and children."
Chancellor Freiman: "Ach, they are clever aren't they, the Italians..."
Reporter#2: "They say they are fleeing persecution."
Chancellor Freiman: "Oh, we'll show them persecution..."
Reporter#3: "So you don't believe their asylum claims?"
Chancellor Freiman: "Gott Im Himmel! Who would believe someone would flee Italy to go to Germany! No one voluntarily moves here..."
Reporter#4: "Maybe they like Bier and Bratwurst?"
Chancellor Freiman: "Over pizza, pasta and wein? And with my apologies to meine Frau the women are better looking down there as well. Turns out that a sausage, potato and bier diet is not good for the figure...
Reporter#5: "So how will their asylum claims be handled?"
Chancellor Freiman: "In the traditional Deutche weg--Schiessen das manner! We have to work sure these are not Italian soldiers in disguise. The women and children we will turn back..."
Reporter#6: "And Germany is supposed to be the most civilized country?"
Chancellor Freiman: "This is Der Krieg! This is survival. Anyway, we are civilized..north by north-west."
Reporter#7: "What if you're wrong about them being Italian soldiers?"
Chancellor Freiman: "Then we will sincerely apologize to them..."